A mixture of relief, anxiety and sadness flooded me as I sat in my superintendence’s office last week. With tears running down my cheeks, I simply said, “I’m done. Because of health issues and my need to be with my husband (He works in a town two hours away and stays there during the week.) I need to not sub teach nor run the after school program.” I have wanted to resign for a few year, but not without my husband’s blessings. And finally, the day came.
My boss’s expression softened and he simply replied, “I understand.”
A huge helping of peace washed over me as I wiped tears away. Because I fought to bring the program back last year, my gut twisted at the thought of announcing my resignation. I love each and every student that has touched my heart since 2000, when the program began, which made this declaration even tougher. But in order to keep healthy and happy, I knew I needed to leave.
Since the day my husband and I made the decision that I resign from the school system, I have felt peace and relief. I know I made the right decision. Until I show up for work and the students tell me how much they missed me when I was home due to surgery.
I shared my mixed feelings at women’s Bible study the other week and a friend reminded me that I can still visit from time to time. Judge the science fair, assist with archery in February and March, and judge the senior for the high school presentations–things I already do and love.
I’m thankful my husband is backing me because now I can continue to grow as a writer. I love to create stories that honor his people–the Colville Tribe of Indians. I think part of my relief comes from not being pulled in so many directions.
The best part of this new chapter in my life is knowing I can go to Spokane and spend the night with my husband and not be held back. We can take in a movie. Go to dinner. Things that aren’t offered in the small 500 person town we call home.
In my life, I have only dreamed of changing lives of young people. The good news is I still can. It may not be in the classroom. It may not be after school hours in the library. But it will be as they turn the pages of my books, connecting through stories written for them and about them.
I look forward to the up and coming passage of my life. I have two more days with an amazing group of young people, then a new journey begins.